RED LANTERN FAQ

(Because you’re gonna ask anyway)

When do you open?

Sometime in September. We’re at the mercy of paperwork goblins and bureaucratic nonsense. It’s coming. You’ll know.

What are your hours?

In theory (and in future reality):

• Wed–Thu: 4 PM–12 AM

• Fri: 2 PM–12 AM

• Sat: 2 PM–2 AM (yes, we go full gremlin)

• Sun: 1 PM–7 PM (home in time to regret your weekend)

Closed Mon/Tue because even legends need a nap.

Can I play music here / do a set / bring my band / DJ a rave?

Nope. We love music. We do. But we’re small, moody, and not built for performances. If that ever changes, we’ll find you. Promise.

Can I partner with you / sell my stuff / do a giveaway / collab on something?

If we want to partner with you, you’ll know. Otherwise, no.

Can I pitch you my MLM / essential oils / weird protein powder / crypto cult / dropship candles?

Get fucked.

Respectfully.

Can I host a charity event or fundraiser here? Would you like to donate....?

Also no. We don’t do charity collabs, and we don’t feel bad about it. The Red Lantern is a business, not a mission trip.

Can I bring religion into this? AKA do you have minute to let me talk about....

Absolutely not.

Get fucked... again.

What about influencers?

If you’re already a fan and want to post about us on your own time, we love that.

But if you’re here to say “I’d love to promote you to my 6k followers for $500 and a drink ticket,” see above.

But what if I have a totally unique idea that doesn’t fit any of this?

Still probably no. But if it’s truly brilliant and deeply aligned with our brand, we’ll come knocking. Don’t wait up.

So how can I be part of this?

Show up. Buy a drink. Be cool. Don’t sell anything. Don’t preach. Don’t pitch. Just vibe.